I also spent a good part of the last four days in panic-attack-mode. I won’t go into detail, but my paranoia tends to concoct all sorts of worst-case-scenarios when people who talk to me on the regular abruptly disappear. Granted, the “disappearance” in question wasn’t entirely out of the blue; his phone was dying and he was spending time in a place where internet access wasn’t guaranteed. Things are mostly back to normal as of last night.

I really have nothing else to write about, so enjoy a picture of me and my clone.

I spent an hour this morning filling out the unemployment insurance claim form online, only to find out when I was finished that I put a wrong answer. In an uneditable section. The only way to fix it? Start over. I was so fed up with it that I decided to put it off until later. I still haven’t re-done it.

I had a doctor’s appointment today, because I’ve been getting some alarming side-effects from my birth control for the past three to four weeks. I spent an hour in a waiting room filled with ghetto hood rats and loud children to see my doctor for five minutes. Five minutes. During which he asked me what my side-effects were and then simply told me to start taking my birth control three weeks on and one week off. (Normally, it’s twelve weeks on and one week off.) He gave me two more packs of the same birth control, and cheerfully sent me on my way.

Since I don’t have health insurance, my doctor wants to put off doing any tests until I do get coverage, since lab fees are unfathomably expensive. So until then, if there’s actually something wrong with me and it’s NOT just a birth control side effect, it’s going to keep getting worse. Fabulous.

1. I need a job. For a while, I was putting off finding a job because of multiple dentist appointments, the competition, planning for my trip to visit Jonny, and because I was making a meager income on the side giving my friends highlights and haircuts. While I can still do the latter, I seriously need a steady income.

2. I need health insurance. For the past few years, my health has taken a back seat since I simply don’t have the money to see a doctor on the regular, and I’m too old now to be covered under my mother’s health insurance. Such neglect resulted in the hospital visit over the summer… when I ended up with a kidney infection. This morning I went to the Department of Social Services and filled out an application for Medicaid; I have an interview on Thursday.

3. I need to start paying off my debt. This is sort of reliant on #1; if I don’t have a steady income, I don’t really have a way to pay off my debt. I’ve considered seeking the aid of a debt consolidation company, but I’ve been advised otherwise from one person that I mentioned it to. I’m still undecided on how to handle this one.

4. I need to work on getting my driver’s license un-suspended. My mom keeps nagging me on this one, but it’s also reliant on #1. I’ve made some phone calls and done some research. It’s gonna cost me nearly $1,000 to get my license back. >_<

5. I need to start sorting through all my old shit. I have a lot of stuff in boxes that’s taking up space in the garage and basement, and I’m sure at least half of it could be thrown out or donated.

6. I need to write to my pen pals. As I sit here writing this blog, I’m neglecting about four or five letters from pen pals, some nearly a month old, that are still awaiting reply. Now that the excitement of the whole beginning half of March has died down, though, I think I’ll be able to find some time to clear those out of the way.

Back in July, I started talking to this guy through MySpace. As we got to know each other more, I started to develop something of a crush on him, because he’s unlike anyone else I’ve ever known. We finally came to the conclusion that we should definitely meet, but the 1,200 miles between us and his rigorous school schedule made it nearly impossible for him to travel to New York… so I overcame my fear of flying, and traveled to him.

This was nearly two weeks ago, and it was then during my visit that we officialized our relationship. We’re in the process of planning our next get-together, during which he’ll definitely come up here, and we already started working out summer plans, as well. Though long-distance relationships are undoubtedly difficult, I’m certain we can make it work. He makes me happier than I’ve ever been before.

Anyway, enough about my love life. Haha. Last week was a regional competition that my teacher had urged me to participate in, after I took first place in the updo competition back in January. For this competition, I not only had to complete an updo, but I was also required to display aptitude in a state board perm set and eight pin curls with the ridge and c-shaping (it may seem confusing, but fellow cosmetologists will understand. Haha). I was competing against seven other girls from different schools, and looking around at their updos and skills, I didn’t even have hopes of placing. Well, I was wrong, because I ended up taking second place! I think my teacher was more excited than I was; as soon as we heard my name announced, she started calling everyone to tell them. And she even insisted that I bring my trophy in the following Monday to show off to the class. XD

It was all very exciting, but I’m glad it’s over. Actually, I’m glad I don’t have to practice updos or state board skills on the regular any more. It was also very stressful, and now that it’s over I feel so relieved!

I totally forgot to mention yesterday about my creeper encounter from Sunday morning. I was on the train, on my way into the city. At 6:30 in the morning. That early on a Sunday, there’s barely anyone on the train. I was one of two people in this particular train car, with the other person being this creepy-looking dude in his mid- to late-thirties.

In a mostly empty train car, he decided to sit in the set of seats across the aisle from me. Whatever, I thought to myself, just ignore the guy. I was listening to music, browsing Facebook on my phone, and nomming on some Banana Nut Cheerios, so ignoring the guy in my peripheral vision didn’t turn out to be an arduous task.

That is, until he started asking me questions.

I barely heard his voice over my music, so I took my earphones out and gestured for him to repeat himself.

“What are you eating?” He asked. “Are those peanuts?”

“No,” I replied, slightly bewildered, “they’re Cheerios.”

“Oh,” he said. It didn’t seem like he was going to say anything else, so I popped my headphones back in and directed my attention back at my phone. Within moments, I heard his voice again, prompting me to have to pull out my headphones to hear him. This time, though, I could barely understand him, and I must have asked him to repeat the question at least six times.

He’d asked, “Can I sit next to you?”

Um, what??

“Can I sit next to you?”

“Uh, I have a lot of stuff with me…” I awkwardly motioned to the two large bags I had with me, that fully occupied the seat next to me. Why the hell did this guy want to sit next to me, when there were plenty of other seats on the train?!

“Oh…” He trailed off, and I promptly stuck my earbuds back in, vowing NOT to take them out again, regardless of what this guy wanted to ask me next. I slumped down a little in my seat and started writing a text message. Maybe if he saw I was in the middle of something like, oh, say, typing, with body language that screamed “don’t fucking talk to me,” he’d leave me alone. Haha, boy was I wrong.

I heard his voice again, and stubbornly ignored it, continuing with the epic text message I was writing. Unable to figure that I obviously didn’t want to talk to him, he reached over to get my attention by touching my arm. The second he touched me, I snapped at him, asking him with a very strained politeness to NOT touch me. He recoiled, and tried to ask me something else. I told him to leave me alone.

Dude finally got the hint after that, and moved himself to the next train car.

Going back to school for cosmetology was probably the best career move that I could have made. I’ve been swamped for the past couple weeks, taking bookings from my friends to cut and color their hair. Foil sets seems to be my specialty; I’ve done three so far, and they all came out looking amazing.

March is coming up soon, and that means that my life will be the busiest it’s ever been. I’ve got less than two and a half weeks until my trip I’ve been looking forward to, and that’s probably the one thing I’m looking forward to the most. Shortly after that is the International Beauty Show, an updo/state board skills competition I’ll be participating in, the high school’s musical which I may or may not be helping out with (cosmetically), and more that I can’t even think of right now.

You know what I hate? People who assume that boys and girls can’t be friends without an ulterior motive. Just because I hang out with male friends doesn’t mean I’m sleeping with them or have any romantic interest in them. Just sayin’.

I also got my nose pierced on my birthday (by the awesome, amazing Marie! ♥), and Maggie commandeered my camera during the process to take a picture of my pain. Haha. It actually wasn’t as bad as that picture makes it seem. And it’s healing up quite nicely; there’s barely any crustiness and it’s barely sore anymore.

It seems that, eleven months later, a certain someone still can’t accept that he’s no longer a part of my life. I’m sure you all know who I’m talking about; the same jerk who’s been plaguing my life for the last four years. I created an account over at Formspring.me, and wouldn’t you know, my inbox is constantly filled with anonymous questions and accusations. Hmm. I wonder who they could be from. Beats me… *rolls eyes* He needs to realize that the reason I’m no longer with him is because he treated me badly. That’s it. And there’s no way I will ever, EVER let that dirtbag back into my life. He needs to get over it, and let go. All of the harassment, the threats, the insisting… it’s only driving me further away and digging his own grave deeper.

I’ve already made three networking contacts, two of them being former teachers from high school. The third works in a nail salon, and said that if I get business cards made up, she’ll put them in her salon. If I get chosen for the next SkillsUSA competition, that will be in March. My former fashion teacher wants to enlist me to help out with not only the next fashion show they put together, but also with the school’s musical. My other former teacher needs someone to help with styling for portfolio photos, and it could eventually turn into a paid gimmick. A friend of mine is getting married in November and I’ve been promised the job as her makeup artist and stylist, and I have friends practically lined up wanting to be my guinea pigs to practice on.

It’s a shame that I didn’t get to start doing this a couple years ago when I first became interested in beauty school. I was discouraged, and was told that “beauty school is for high school drop-outs.” Well, the school that I’m going to requires a high school diploma or equivalent to join the program, so the statement used to discourage me wasn’t entirely accurate. Plus, there’s a lot more to learning about hair, skin, and nails than you might think… it’s definitely not a course for those who completely lack intelligence (though I will admit, the girls in my class are pretty ditzy). The course includes basic anatomy and physiology principles, specific techniques, theory, and some of the stuff we practice is fairly difficult.

But anyway, I’m really glad I decided to take cosmetology. It’s a big part of everything that’s going right with my life, and I really think it’s my calling. This is what I was “meant” to do.

I have so many things to look forward to in 2010, it’s ridiculous. I start school in January. My divorce should be finalized soon. I have an epic trip planned for a weekend in March. I’ll be able to go into the city every weekend to see my friends. I’m sure there are plenty of other things for me to look forward to, but those are the landmarks. There are parts of my life that aren’t so hot (like being in debt, not having a place of my own), but for the most part, I can safely say that this is the best my life has ever been, and it will only continue to get better. I’m about 95% content with who I am and where my life is headed.

I only have one New Year’s resolution, and that is to continue to better myself and keep my life on the right track.

Reason being, I’ve rid myself of the most toxic people in my life, and currently am surrounded by friends who love me, treat me well, understand me, and are generally a positive influence on my life. Also, as I’ve mentioned in a previous entry, there’s a special someone who I’ve been talking to on the regular, and they make me feel really good about myself.

Muay Thai is going splendidly well. I actually got one of my friends to start taking it with me also, and she enjoys it as well. The workouts are really intense, the group is really friendly and chill, I’ve been learning lots of self-defense, and though I haven’t been seeing any major improvements on the scale, I feel a lot better, a lot healthier, and more toned.

Anyway, I’ll end this entry with a song that I feel pretty much sums up my life right now: “Did Ya” by BoA.