Minor neighborhood drama

For all of you demanding pictures of me as Faye Valentine, there are a few on my Flickr, and a few more on my MySpace. The MySpace pictures are private though, and you have to be my friend to see them.

We were involved in a minor neighborly quaff the other night, and it amused me. Eric and I had just returned back from walking Penelope. The landlord’s brother (for simplicity’s sake, we’ll just refer to him as the landlord. I don’t know his name) was also outside, with their dog. Out of nowhere sprang this little Asian man with glasses and a camera, and started taking a picture of our house like he was the paparazzi and Britney Spears lived there. The landlord just kind of wtf’ed, and boldly asked the guy what the hell his problem was. The Asian guy angrily reverberated the question – in a “no, u!” sort of way – and continued to snap pictures.

The landlord stepped into the line of fire between the little digital camera and the house, and quietly asked the guy what his f’n problem was. The Asian man exploded, angrily accusing the landlord of letting his little curly white dog shit in front of his house (we don’t have front lawns here in Queens), and that he didn’t pick it up. He tried for another picture.

“You want dog shit? Here’s your dog shit!” The landlord taunted the guy while he unsuccessfully tried to take more pictures, shoving a little baggie of freshly made poop in the Asian’s face.

I chimed in. “How do you know it was his dog?”

The Asian man pointed accusingly. “I saw him! I have witness! I will test DNA!” Ooookay. The man’s wife came out of nowhere – a short, fat lady, and all she wanted to do was curse and scream and threaten cops at all of us. Eric ended up stepping in and defusing the whole situation, because it was getting to a point where fists were about to fly. The guy and his wife finally went away, and we just laughed it off. Even the landlord, who never smiles, was laughing about it.

June 13th, 2008 | Drama, Life | Leave a response